How to convince the wife?
 

I own only one firearm (a modified 12 g. Remington 870), and as of now it's stored at my parent's house about 20 miles away. My wife just doesn't like the idea of us having a shotgun in our home where we also have a one year old daughter. As a member of GIM you can all guess my stance on gun ownership, and I personally don't have a problem with us keeping it at our home. However, I want to convince my wife that it would be safer for us to have it with us rather than at a relatives house 20 miles away. I'm looking for some research, stories, editorials, etc., that I could use to show my wife to help convince her that the shotgun needs to be at our home. I know I could find a lot on my own, but I also know that many of you here will know of things much better than I could get on my own. Thanks a lot!! :emotions16:

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Dial 911 and DIE

by Richard W. Stevens
With an Introduction by James Bovard
Author of Lost Rights and Freedom in Chains
http://www.jpfo.org/buynowbutton.gif

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

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Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Have you tried the "This is how it is going to be and that is the end of it" approach yet?

Of course it never worked me for, usually just got me a comfy spot on the sofa at night.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

offer the wife to get a gun safe, to keep it out of reach of your daughter.

you can stash your silver there also...


Sounds like the biggest issue is your kid, so spend a little dough to keep the gun out of your daughters reach, and the wife will likely be okay with it all.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Wow, don't mean to pour salt in teh wound, but that REALLY should've been something you should've discussed before you got married.

Try to talk about protecting her and the little one. If that fails use the Triangle theory:

3 things have to be present in order for there to be a firearm accident.
Gun, Ammo, People. If you eliminate 1 thing it is impossible to have an accident. Keep the shotgun on the closet shelf and the ammo in another room. Then start taking out the gun and clean it, talk about it, go shoot with some buddies. Get her used to seeing it. The more you're around guns the less "ominous" they are.

Email her every story of a break-in. etc.

That's the "ease into the water" approach. There are many here that will tell you to tell her "We're keeping a loaded shotgun by the bed, GET OVER IT." That is not healthy for your marriage.

Hope i helped. SilverJeep

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Have her read this. It's free and is fully documented.

http://www.gunfacts.info/pdfs/gun-fa...4-2-Screen.pdf

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Gee - guess I'm lucky.......my wife isn't too bothered about guns as long as they're put up and out of reach of my 3-yr old daughter.

The main thing is 'comfort' - my policeman neighbor said you don't want to 'hide' guns from your kids :no_ma:instead, teach them (and your wife) and not to make a big deal about it.........

I thought for sure that my wife would freakout totally over my black RPK assault rifle with scope & bipod I brought home from the last gun show. Really, I was 'sweatin' bullets (no pun intended) but she accepted it.

Not to preach, but being the MAN of the household has its responsibilities and offer 'options' of how to deal with the fact that you MUST keep the shotgun in the house.

IF needed, just assure her that it'll be out of site and put away so she won't need to worry.

-Godspeed & do what's right. :wink:

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

OK, here is the story I tell EVERY anti-gunner. It ends with a question.

I'm out walking, carrying my legally owned and legally carried firearm.

I come across YOUR WIFE AND ONE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER being surrounded by a group of thugs. They are telling your wife they are going to rape her AND your one year old daughter.

Should I :

1) Keep going because it's really none of my business

2) Call 911 on my cell phone and hope the cops arrive evenutally

3) Pull my legally owned and carried firearm and disperse the group of thugs with (or without, their choice) shooting them.

I've YET to find ANY LIBERAL who says #1 or #2 - they ALL SAY #3.

Also, you need a vault, here's one. It will fit between the studs of your home or apartment, say in a closet of your bedroom. This resolves ALL your needs and keeps you AND your family safe.

http://www.nationwidesafes.com/1170.html

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

You need to be extra careful with kids. I got a biometric wall safe for my bedroom. I keep a 9mm loaded with Federal Hydrashock (one in the chamber - it is double action). You have to have my fingerprint or my wife's in order to get in the safe.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

I don't care for guns but I'm thinking about getting one. I'm the veggie guy who believes in hunting and non-gun owner who thinks that is the last defense to keep true freedom. I'll never change on that. Maybe start by letting your wife keep the ammo.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Maybe its just me, but its not totally up to her, I don't care what kind of partnership marraige is, you have a natural right to self defense and this was NOT waived by "I DO".

Unless she's eager to add to the list of things that cause "until death do us part" tell her to respect your right to defend yourself.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Great advice... slow introduction and getting her used to them is key.

Until she's all-in, though, surely she can appreciate that keeping the shotgun at home, unloaded, with a lock on it would prevent a 1-yr-old from being able to do anything with it. Unless your 1-yr-old can open a safe or reach up high and get down your shotgun, remove its lock, find the ammo, and load it, there's not much chance of any accidents involving your kid. :wink: On second thought, how often does a 1-yr-old roam the whole house unsupervised, anyway? By the time your kid is old enough to introduce to the safe handling and respect of guns, hopefully your wife will have come around, too. :smile:

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

My Dad's way with my Mom (who had a brother injured in a firearms home accident as a young man) was that children need to be taught safety with all dangerous tools from electricity to hammers at an early age. That a shotgun hung over the door used to be the norm in farm homes and kids learned gun safety right along with wood fire safety, etc.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

http://www.google.com/search?q=Petit...Hayes+cheshire

http://www.wfsb.com/2007/0724/13744037.jpg

Hayley Elizabeth Petit, 1989-2007
Michaela Rose Petit, 1995-2007
Jennifer Lynn Hawke-Petit, 1958-2007
Dr. William Petit Jr.

http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/msnbc/C...2p.hmedium.jpg

From the Left: Komisarjevsky, Hayes

On Sunday, July 22, 2007, Komisarjevsky and Hayes saw 11-year-old Michaela Petit and her mother, Jennifer Hawke-Petit leave a local grocery store and get into their white Mercedes-Benz. Recognizing the car was expensive and the owners probably had money, the two men followed the Mercedes and found out the Petit's address. Then, Komisarjevsky and Hayes went and bought a bat and rope, with plans to break into and tie up the homeowners and rob them. This was no simple robbery, however. What ensued was probably the most horrific crime in Connecticut history.

Komisarjevsky and Hayes broke into the Petit's home in Cheshire around 3 a.m. July 23. They fought Dr. William Petit, ultimately knocking him out with a blow from a baseball bat to the head. They tied him up and left him for dead in the basement. Then, the men tied Michaela and her sister Hayley, 17, along with their mother to their beds. Michaela was brutally raped by Komisarjevsky. Hawke-Petit was raped by Steven Hayes. If you ask me, anyone who rapes an 11-year-old should be executed. But it gets worse.

At 9 a.m. Monday morning, when the local Bank of America opened, Hayes drove Mrs. Petit to the branch and made her withdraw $15,000. She had already been raped and was fearful about what the men might have done if she refused to withdraw the money. Hayes let Mrs. Petit enter the bank by herself, so she was able to inform the teller she and her family were being held against their will, and the teller alerted police.

Once the criminals realized that police were closing in, they decided to try and destroy the evidence of their horrific crime and flee the scene. Since they were both convicted felons, the State of Connecticut has DNA samples on record from both men. That means police could get a sample of the semen from the raped women and immediately know Hayes and Komisarjevsky were guilty. At this point, the men decided their best chance at eluding culpability was to burn the bodies and destroy the semen that could link them to the crimes. So they doused the beds in gasoline and set them on fire. Michaela and Hayley died a slow, agonizing, painful death of smoke inhalation. Hawke-Petit was strangled to death. William was able to escape the basement and run to a neighbor's house for help. The rapists' and murderers' plan to escape was squashed when they realized cops were everywhere, and they couldn't hide. The police caught them red-handed driving from the house in the Petit's car. Komisarjevsky and Hayes rammed three police cruisers before surrendering.

Let that sink in for a moment. They raped a mother and daughter, then burnt the bodies to destroy the DNA? It is one thing to rob someone, but to rape and murder, especially kids, is a whole new level of savagery. I am hard-pressed to think of anything more callous, vicious and vile. What happened in Cheshire is not supposed to happen. Human beings should not suffer like that.

In the weeks after the brutal killings, it was revealed that Komisarjevsky and Hayes were sober when they committed the crime, contrary to early speculation that they were high on drugs.

======================

Also see the GIM thread below on an equally "cute" story

http://goldismoney.info/forums/showthread.php?t=119727

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Take your wife shooting.

Start her out with a little .22 pistol.

Teach her about gun safety.

Then buy a handgun, something she can handle.

Sometimes, you just need to man up.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Guns are mysterious and scary to a lot of people who have never handled them much. Some of them even seem to attribute almost supernatural abilities to guns, imagining that they can somehow act on their own to cause injury. Your first step is probably going to have to be demystifying firearms for her.

1) Take her shooting OR convince her to enroll in an all-woman gun safety course. Make a bargain with her and offer her something in exchange if she'll agree to go to the course. (If you have a choice between getting her to enroll in a course and taking her yourself, enroll her in the course!)

I can sympathize with you somewhat. For the first 15 years of our marriage, my husband was uncomfortable with my guns in the house (we don't have kids, though) and refused to go shooting with me. Owing to a lucky incident in which one of his gun-loving work friends who is friends with one of my shooting buddies tried to talk about guns with my husband, embarassing my husband who realized that his friend knew more about the guns I own than he did, he finally went with me. He found he loved it! He still only has one firearm of his own, and he can't identify all my rifles, but he's learned to reload, joined a trap shooting association, and even competed. Shooting and making a weekly trip to Bass Sporting Goods became together time we both enjoyed.

2) Are there other women your wife knows or you can contrive for her to meet who can help demystify guns. My mother, who has never been comfortable with guns, went all misty-eyed when she saw my gun-loving sister sitting Madonna-like (the painting, not the pop star!) on the couch holding my Swedish mauser while her two-year old clung to her knees. Mom admitted that she thought somehow a gun and a child in the same place would be dangerous, but she could see that it wasn't necessarily so. Mom stunned us all a few months ago by announcing that she might take a gun safety course. Turns out all the women on her tennis team have been taking gun safety courses, and now she wants to see what it's all about.

3) Show her articles about home invasions (like the one someone posted above) or try to find a home security course you two can go to. Hearing about what really happens in home invasions would scare anyone. A friend of mine casually told me that she couldn't see herself having guns in her house. Home invasions are fairly common in our area, and a few months before our employer had invited in a security specialist to talk to us about home security and personal safety. He didn't pull a single punch in talking about the brutality of home invasions and told us that they were far more common that the media reported. They try to cut down on copycats and creating fads with gangs by not reporting most of the incidents to the media. (He was also very pro-gun, as long as you practiced with your weapon.) I said to my friend, "Do you know what happens in home invasions? I mean, what would you do if a group of guys kicked your door in? You have a teenaged daughter! Can you imagine helplessly watching them brutalize [inserted children's names to personalize the issue]?" She still doesn't have a gun in the house, but she conceded the point.

4) Bring you wife to a store that has gun safes (the good ones, not something like those flimsy Stack-Ons). A gun safe looks pretty impressive, and it's hard to imagine a toddler defeating a locked gun safe. Perhaps if she sees that a firearm can be safely stored, she'll concede.

Good luck!

http://www.keepandbeararms.com/infor...e.asp?CatID=73
http://www.keepandbeararms.com/infor...tem.asp?ID=946
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content...ct/273/22/1759
http://www.crimesceneblog.com/?cat=20
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/...vade25ww.shtml
http://frankhilliard.com/homeinvasion/examples.cfm
http://theindependent.co.nz/waikatot...517a13575.html
http://www.crimedoctor.com/homeinvasion.htm
http://ci.ftlaud.fl.us/police/hurley.html
http://www.womenandguns.com/

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Give her all the options, gently educate her about guns, then let her decide. If she still doesn't want a gun in the house, you will have to respect that decision. (So carry a knife instead :D)

A gun is a tool, it can be used responsibly, or irresponsibly. It can be stored, carried, and used in a safe, or an unsafe manner.

It is not inherently evil, no more than a spear, brick, or a knife.

As a survival tool in certain environments, it is a necessity.

It is great to see people use and enjoy guns responsibly, and it empowers an individual, by showing them that they are in control of themselves, more than they are of the gun.

I have introduced a number of friends to handgun shooting, and they feel far more comfortable about guns afterward, once the fear factor is removed. As a sporting shooter, it is good for my sport for people to understand and enjoy it.

When introducing someone, I take them right through basics of the gun's operation, where to point it, how to grip it, how to keep their finger out of the trigger group until ready, using the sights, treating the gun as always loaded. Then once I'm comfortable that they can use the gun safely, I demo it by loading up two rounds and firing, I then load up two rounds and let them plink. Then I shoot two, then they shoot two, until they are ready for a full mag.

Then they start to appreciate the gun more for what it is, a machine or a tool, which requires proper safe handling and operation in order to achieve a fun outcome. :)

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

lots of good advice here esp large sarge. get a gun safe. I'll bet ninety percent of gimmers store their stash in with their irons. I dont have any silver or gold or guns though so I am just repeating what others tell me.

My wife is a deadeye with a handgun, a natural. She's got a hot temper though so anything like that would have to be under lock and key. lol

Get the gun safe and move it in one day along with your piece, and just say, hey, thats the way it is now. end of story. then take her out for a fancy dinner and avoid the subject like the plague. seduce her by presenting your manly strength and wonderful benefits and brook no opposition meanwhiles.

if that doesnt work and she wants to go the hard way, well, sometimes you got to ratchet things up, show some brass. if she keeps on givin you guff, cut her off, from the money and the sex. dont think the women dont want sex, they do, just most men are too horny to show some discipline and hold it back. women do this a lot. men can do it too. but dont admit youre doing it or it will fail. got to be subtle, men are usually too hamfisted.

always, the iron hand in the velvet glove, thats what women want. asking for permission, that's a bad habit. get out of it or it will rule your life.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

I have a little saying, Its better to ask for forgiveness than permission. :wink: unfourtunatly sometimes spouses are not on board with prepping etc and you have to do whet you have to do to get things done.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

They can't say "no" if you don't ask! :rolleyes_m:

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Hang your 870 over the door inside yor closet.

Make sure it won't fall on her in the event someone slams the door.

Its higher than a kid can reach in an area off limits and out of sight.

(This is only a good place if your tall enough to reach it)

Read these stories---some entertainment value to boot.

NRA-ILA :: Armed Citizen

Electric-Amish

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

A gun in the hand beats a cop on the phone every single time.

Here's a story to show your wife.

http://www.outdoorsunlimited.net/cgi...?id=1186667404

Not only should you have that gun in your house, you should educate your daughter on gun use and safety once she is of age.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Go here, and send her here too:

www.2asisters.org/

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

My wife hated my .40 cause she said it jumped out of her hands, but I knew better. She wanted to start with a .22 and I refused and we bought a .45 and she would not shoot it at the range at first. Would not even touch it.

So I gave her a .223 AR-15 which is more comfortable to a first timer after the first shot. She out shot me on her first try from a standing position at 25 yards. Now she has named the gun. The range is a huge turn on for women. Once they get over the fear they will be off the hook with excitement.

The second time, I called over the range instructor and had him teach her pistol grip, aim and stance in about 10 minutes she had corrected everything including her fear and again out shot me on the first try (post correction).

Now she just had me buy an AK (just for her).

I would call this a success.

The moral of this story is, don't get a .22 for your wife. Get her something that actually gets things done and consider some range training. Use it yourself in the meantime.

Assuming she does not have socialism to wade through mentally, then you should be fine once the fear aspect is overcome.

And yes I have a kid and I would not go anywhere unarmed. If my wife did not like that, I would say tough luck. Stay home.

Keep them loaded up on a high shelf and as your kid ages, teach him.her about firearms. Take them to the range at 3 yo and keep teaching them. let them shoot a daisy at age 5 and send them to gun training at age 7. Teach them what it means to have an owie and die. Boom, Owie, Dead we call it. My kid tells her mom to stay out of the gun closet. "That's daddies gun closet!" she says.

Kids are smart if you take the time to teach them, but at the same time, this requires total responsibility. As your kid ages you make very sure they cannot reach the firearms. I cannot imagine how those people feel who make this mistake. You certainly don't want to find out.

your wife's concerns are valid of course. You can start by showing her that you can responsibly handle a firearm. That might mean taking a class or two yourself which never hurts.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Maddie, your posts always bring a smile. I love hearing the stories about your husband and the reversed roles you two share when it comes to preps and guns etc.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Having the means to protect your family from predators is not negotiable.

Buy a safe and invest in training. If your missus doesn't like it - TOUGH.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Safes are great for protecting the collection, but not for home defense. I would put all guns in the safe upon leaving the home, but always have one out when home. Remember to bring one with you when you leave.

This way you have fast access if someone breaks in when home, and while you are away you wont get shot with your own guns upon returning. Add an alarm system so that you don't get shot with someone else's gun while they wait for you to return just to have you open that tasty safe.

Safes must be used correctly as well or they could cost you your life.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

This is excellent advice. All I can add is this: liberty safes.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Use the 'foot in the door' principle. Begin with a small baby step, and work your way up to a strut.

I would start with a .22 long rifle revolver. Get one in stainless or nickel finish, black may be perceived as menacing. You could strip it down and have it painted in a soft color your wife likes; light yellow, soft pink, baby blue are happy colors.

You could even begin with an air rifle or pistol and see if you wife likes to shoot cans or bottles.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Hey Maddie

These are some good articles.

http://www.keepandbeararms.com/infor...e.asp?CatID=73

Thanks for thr link!!!

Electric-Amish

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

You're welcome! I like that site. Lots of good stuff shows up in there.

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Wow, thanks everyone for the wealth of info! R MacDonald, I bought that book you recommended and am looking forward to sharing some of the stories with my wife. Also, that website is awesome and I'm going to forward it to many people I know (I have a good friend who has a strong gun-control philosophy, and I need to talk to him). Buff01, that Gun-Facts e-book is the best resource I've ever seen regarding the "myths vs facts" of gun ownership. I've printed out a copy and have been fingering through many of the pages; I can't wait to find some good time to give it a good study.

Unfortunately, back when my wife and I got married, I hadn't quite "taken the red pill" about all that is happening in the world. I was ignorant of many of the things which I now thank God I know. My side of the family has always been pro-2nd amendment, and I think I was the last one to actually buy a gun. My wife's side of the family, however, is sort of ignorant about the whole thing, except my mother in law who is strictly anti-gun. When the V-tech shootings occured I posited that if only the students were allowed to have guns then maybe the shooter wouldn't have killed so many, and she kept retorting that we need more strict gun-control laws to make it harder for people to get them in the first place. Of course, psycos on a death march don't care about the law, but logic doesn't work with this woman, and I have since learned to just not argue, as she will always insist she is right, even in the company of clear evidence to the contrary. She told us at the dinner table one night that she saw a little boy playing with a toy gun at the mall going "bang bang!" and how she almost confronted the parent to tell them how horrible they were for allowing their child to play with such a dangerous thing. Anyway, so my wife isn't as nuts as her mother, but she's still in the mindset of "the police keep us safe" and "we live in a safe area so we don't need a gun right now". I don't think it will be long before I have time to go over many of the things I'm learning here with her and I'm positive we'll have a safer house in the time to come! :applause_

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Throw it in their faces. Ask your Father in Law if he'd defend his family or would he stand back and let a stranger do so?

Also ask what would happen if gun owners refused to give up their guns. What the police would come around and "take" them. Would they "take" them at gun point? Isn't that hypocritical?

Also point out that prohibition didn't work and that the whole "war on drugs" is a dismal failure and that the authorities can't control the drug trade so what makes them think that they can "control" guns any better? (BTW there is a world of difference between limiting magazine size and an outright ban)

Re: How to convince the wife?
 

Awesome advice. The safe protects your valuables and may save your own life.

The last thing I want to do is walk into the house and have some criminal shoot me with my own shotgun. Gun safe is a good idea for the PMs, jewelry, firearms, and important documents.

Blorp